that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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