I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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