thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
