There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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