Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
