they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
