Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
