Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
