What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
