Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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