I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize