after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
