I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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