To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
