At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
