is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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