Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
