Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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