every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
