mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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