doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize