I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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