Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
