Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
