She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
