He asked to "fluff my boner.."
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
