The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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