Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
