Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
So here I am, sexting at work.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
