At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
