You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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