Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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