I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
