When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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