Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
