Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
