She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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