Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
