they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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