Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
