Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
