so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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