Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
