JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
