if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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