his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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