I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Your penis caused this!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
