loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
