Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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