That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
