Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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