is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm jealous of your bromance
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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