toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
