She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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