Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize