Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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