If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
