it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
So vagazzling was a success
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
