problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
