In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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