he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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